Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Adultness

This morning I learned one of my best friends that I have known for 11 years is pregnant with her first baby and is due in March. 

Crazy shit, I know, but we aren't little kids anymore. We aren't 16, 18 or even 21. Hell I know more than one person my age with two kids and divorced

We are 24 years old heading towards the mark of our first quarter century and most days I tend to forget that. 

We are grown adults according to our number and yet I still feel like a little kid asking my parents for gas money. Perhaps it's because I have been in the same work/college gig for the last four years. 

But I look again down at our age and it proudly defeats any reservations I have about adulthood. This is it kids and most days go by without acknowledging it, but there are days like today. Days that force me to look around and see that we aren't kids anymore. We aren't teenagers. We are adults and it makes me scared shitless. 

I'm not going to go into this long diatribe about how ill prepared she and her boyfriend are, but really is anyone prepared for a kid? 

I'm not going to go into how I am so scared for her to face this big challenge ahead of her with a college education or a myriad of other boxes that should have been checked off before she got to this spot. 

I'm not going to lecture about how she wasn't on birth control and knowingly knew this could have happened. Maybe she wanted it to happen. 

No, this is me freaking the hell out about how the only thing that is constant is change and it took this event to push me over the edge. I am overwhelmed with being an adult and there is nothing I can do about it.